Ghetto Nerds Do Live Interesting Lives: Would You Fight in a Bar Over the BDSM Origins of Wonder Woman?

Thanks to all of you who gave some monies in our impromptu donation drive. Good stuff. Very much appreciated. I will keep the Paypal link up for a few days so that generous souls can throw some change into the tip jar if so inclined.

I am going to die a mundane death. I will either leave this Earth sitting on a toilet, falling in the shower, or suffering a stroke mid-coitus. I have made peace with that fact. I will return for another life or two, as there is so much to learn and experience.

I have fought off armed gunmen who put a loaded gun in my face, that after I then punched them in the jaw, pulled the trigger and said "shit!" because nothing happened. Their gun was made impotent. I chased said brigand down the street like the Incredible Hulk, hearing myself say aloud "I am going to kill you," until I realized that discretion makes more sense than hoped for valor which ends with me dead.

I also suffered a severe shock by a never cleaned electric oven and thought that I would die. Frying chicken and cooking Flank Steak on the stove top can and will kill you. Trust me. Do not tempt physics and fate in such a manner.

And I have survived various car and van accidents, once hearing a spectral voice in my head saying "duck down boy!" as my vehicle did its second rollover on a rural road in Pennsylvania. My late godfather was looking out for me in that moment.

I walked away from all those incidents relatively unscathed. Crom is good.

I am weary of over-sharing online. But, we are friends here on We Are Respectable Negroes. Such rules are broken among fellow travelers. Please indulge me.

I am a ghetto nerd. Ghetto nerds have adventures. One of my cool people said that I have random things happen to me because I go out late at night, to dive bars, read books, and ask questions. Me thinks that he is right.

I am not a bad man...far from it. But, I can be a mean and vicious man if provoked. I got that from my dad. He was a nice guy, but if you threatened his wife, children, or dogs, there would be hell to pay. I didn't know that a man in his late 60s could terrify a man in his late 30s until I saw pops do it when I was 11 years old.

Talk about a life lesson.

I am also a Virgo. Consequently,  I can sleep quite well once I follow through on a decision, be it for good or bad.

What follows are two ghetto nerd stories.

I almost got into a fight during the midnight premiere of the first movie in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I despise that film. Seeing it late at night, while falling asleep, and after getting off of an airplane can only bring ill-things to all parties involved.

During that screening, I laughed at an "inappropriate" time. I had the misfortune of sitting next to a couple who were live action role-playing the novels: they were groping, fingering, and enjoying frontage with each other while reciting lines from Fellowship of the Ring.

My laughter ruined their public bliss. She said tell him--me--to shut up. He said "I don't want to provoke the black guy." She proceeded to stand up and cuss me out in public. I smiled and said to him that "this black guy wants you to control your woman."

Not politically correct, of course. Effective? Yes. Very much so.

A few hours ago at the local hangout spot I was doing my thing. I like to read at bars. Somehow I ended up chatting with two of the female servers about the comic book character Wonder Woman, and how she was created by a professor who lived a polyamorous lifestyle and was a devotee of BDSM.

Wonder Woman was his way of bringing that lifestyle to the public.

A drunk and somewhat older gentlemen sat next to me and proceeded to dress me down for telling women such things and ruining their fun. I am nice. I am kind. I am of peace. But, I am also a student of body language. I had to make a decision as to if I should strike him about the head and throat as my interlocutor was poised to do said thing to me before I could act first.

I laughed. My internal dialogue was "I am going to end up in Cook County's lockup over Wonder Woman. Ain't life funny?" A smirk followed. How could it not?

Luckily, I follow the rule of working class folks everywhere: I listen and talk to everyone, as one can never know when a favor may be cashed in to our advantage. With perfect timing, a fellow traveler appeared who is a journeyman MMA fighter. He read the vibe and told my "Wonder Woman adversary whose favorite character's honor was profoundly offended by me "that he would proceed to whoop said person's butt if a quick exit was not made ASAP."

Tension filled the air. Two men postured. The former he who defended Wonder Woman left with due haste.

Little did I realize that being a ghetto nerd could be so perilous.

We ghetto nerds are legion. Are our lives that hard and filled with danger? Have you figured out the means by which you will leave this Earth? Will it be glory or humor that your epithet and eulogy evokes and channels?

I love being a ghetto nerd. I would not trade it for anything in the world. Would you?