Well Lookie Here! Will the Wonders Ever Cease? Herman Cain's (Alleged) "Mistress" is a Black Woman

Cain attempted to get out in front of the news Monday afternoon in an interview with CNN's Wolf Blitzer, in which he revealed that the woman will accuse him of an extended affair. According to a preview story posted by the Fox affiliate in Atlanta, the report is scheduled to air at 6 p.m. and will include an interview with Ginger White, a local woman who claims she had a 13-year affair with Cain. The preview promises "records that [White] says back up her story."

On CNN, Cain denied the charge. He acknowledged knowing the woman, whom he characterized as an "acquaintance that I thought was a friend." But he said there was no affair.

[Well damn! I stand corrected. Herman Cain's "mistress" is a black woman. Dude is so old school--he marries a black woman, has a sister for a long term "secondary relationship," and harasses white women. Herman Cain needs to start writing blues songs. Seriously.

I will let this post stand as originally written, for it is a testimony for how wonderfully surprising life can be.]

Time to invoke the mercy rule for Herb Cornbread Bojangles Cain. A month or so back, I offered an over/under for Herman Cain's sexual peccadillo count. For humor's sake, I prayed that at least one of his many accusers of sexual harassment would be a big, fat, white woman (the jury is still out). Now, Mr. Cain's supposed side piece, lover, partner to he who is a sexual dynamo and tyrannosaurus pizza maven and troubadour, is scheduled to appear on Atlanta's Fox News affiliate this evening.

A month or so ago I had a theory about Herman Cain's relationship with Sharon Bialek, the woman who accused him of forcing her head into his lap, and of putting his hand up her dress. I slept on this one because it was missing one or two bits of confirming information. With the most recent accusation, I feel a bit more confident in playing Negrodamus.

When Herman Cain was a lobbyist, he lived apart from his wife for months at a time in a "corporate apartment" in the Washington D.C. area. By itself, this is not a sin; for many people, such an arrangement would be practical. Moreover, these apartments are a perk of the job to be enjoyed.

Herman Cain also kept his wife out of the spotlight (I do suspect that they may have an "arrangement" regarding outside relationships; at present, she is without a doubt, none too pleased with him putting business out in the street). Again, not common for someone running for high office. But by itself, his wife's absence is a factor that is neither a death knell, nor especially problematic, when viewed by itself. However, when you factor in the accusations that Herman Cain has sexually harassed (at least) five women, the plot does become more interesting.

I believe that Sharon Bialek was Herman Cain's lover. One does not generally presume to put their hands up a woman's dress, and to force her head into your lap to perform fellatio, unless there exists a general understanding, some history between you. Cain and Bialek had an intimate relationship, and during the infamous evening when he supposedly assaulted her, the latter was calling in a favor that Cain summarily refused. In fact, there are photos of them being quite friendly and familiar with one another taken some weeks after Cain supposedly assaulted her.

Ultimately, Bialek was pissed at Herman Cain and took the moment afforded by his presidential run to get a bit of sweet revenge. But, here is what I cannot figure: why wouldn't she just come out as Cain's mistress? Was it a fear of ruining her own marriage? Or did Bialek reason that she could do more harm to Cain with the sexual harassment charge?

We are creatures of habit. Thus, at this point in the Saga of Herman Cain, it is anticlimactic to speculate as to Miss Ginger White's race--but with such a name, laughter would immediately and rapturously ensue if she were a beautiful, dark complected, black woman. But, I do eagerly await how Herman Cain and his supporters will excuse-make for this most recent accusation of moral behavior perfectly in character with not at all befitting a "values voter," Tea Party GOP, candidate.

Herman Cain's white populist base gave him a pass for pursuing 5 white women. Will the sixth be the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back? Will the Right's inner racists, and anti-miscegenation credo as projected through the White Racial Id, finally come out to put Herb Cornbread Cain in his "correct" place?

As Limbaugh and other conservative bloviators are so fond of saying about President Obama and the First Lady, me thinks Herman Cain is being a bit "uppity" with his obsessive pursuit of the decadent delights and sweet pleasures of Caucasian yoni...and he is gonna get checked for it, sooner, rather than later.