My exchange with a Tea Party wingnut (annotated)

Every once in a while, I engage in the Sisyphean task of arguing with a dimwit over the internet, or as I call it, slapboxing the armless.

The details of the exchange aren’t really that important. All you need to know is that yours truly (GG) responded to the Tea Party Wingnut (TPW) as he waxed idiotic on the topic of Arizona’s recent immigration law.

I find this all hilarious, obviously, but the sobering truth is that this person’s vote counts as much as mine. Moreover, because nuanced thought is kryptonite to the popular corporate media, he’s also more likely than I am to have his political views represented in popular newspapers, magazines, and TV shows.

The most depressing part of all of this is that there are literally millions of people like this guy, and this TPW is probably in the middle of the distribution in terms of intelligence.

Maybe it’s not so funny after all.

Enjoy.


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TPW: FACE IT OBAMA IS ILLEAGLE,^[1] SO HE IS GOING TO DO EVERYTHING IN HIS ILL GOTTEN POWERS TO HURT AMERICA.^[2] HIS CRONNIES ARE GOING TO ATTACK THE GOV OF ARIZONA AND PUT PRESSURE ON HIM THREATING TO TAKE FEDERAL FUDS FROM HIS STATE. IF HE DOES NOT DROP THIS LAW. PUBLIC ENEMY SAID IT BEST FIGHT THE POWER. SO RACIAL PROFILEN IS NOT THE SUBJECT.^[3] IFR YOU DON'T BELONG HERE IN THE GOOD OLD USA GO BSACK TO WHERE YOU COME FROM IA MEXICO OR KENYA MR .OBAMA.^[4]

GG: What color is the sky in your fantasy world?^[5]


(at this point, TPW started sending me private messages. That’s when the real fun began).

TPW: MY SKY IS BLUE, SO THAT CRAP OBAMA IS SELLING YOU WAKE UP ALICE YOU ARE STILL IN WONDERLAND.OBAMA FOOLED OVER 4 MILLON NEW VOTERS TO VOTE FOR HIM JUST BECAUSE HE WAS BLACK, NOT KNOWING A DAM THING ABOUT HIS VIEWS.^[6] AND AS FAR AS ILLEGALS IN THE COUNTRY FUCK'EM THEY ARE RIDING THE GRAVY TRAIN THAT AMERICANS ARE PAYING INTO IA FREE HEALTH CARE NOT... See More OBAMAS,HOUSING,TAX BREAKS AT THE END OF THE YEAR. HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU GET FED MONEY WHEN YOU PAY NO TAXS? OH BY THE WAY IF I AM BADFOR THIS COUNTRY,THEN 23 STATES IN THE UNION ARE TO.LAW SUITS AGAINST THE FED GOV OVER SHITTY HCR,^[7] PLEASE GET A LIFE. NOT SINCE THE CIVIL WAR HAS THEIR BEEN AN OUT CRY AGAINST THE GOV,^[8]BUT ONLY 13 STATES VIEWED IT DIFFERENT 46% OF THE UNION AND 56% OF THE AMERICAN POPULATION THINK OBAMA IS A JOKE.^[9] OH I SUPPOSE YOU BELIEVE IN PAYING FOR ILLEGAL BIRTHS IN THE U.S.A. SO MRS. HERNANDEZ,CHOW,GRENDISKY AND SO LU CHE CAN BECOME AMERICANS.^[10] YOU BLOW YOU TAX DOLLARS ON WASTED CRAP NOT MINE.

GG: i'm a member of the reality based community that believes in facts, not the hypocritical fairy tales peddled by dim-witted right wing entertainers.

it's never too late to join. if you do, i would be glad to have grown-up conversations about our political and ideological differences. until then, don't clog up my inbox with this silly, typo-ridden bullshit.

TPW: YOU DEMOCRATIC FOOLS^[11] BY INTO GARBAGE,ALL QUOTES I ADD ARE FACTS FOX NEWS,CNN,TIME MAG,MSNBC ETC.... INTERNET SOURCES.^[12] DO THE MATH 23 STAES OUT OF 50 STATES I WOULD SAY 46% IS A ROUND ABOUT FIGURE. OH I FORGOT THE 3.5 TRILLON DEBT THE IMPOSTER HAS AMERICA IN. LET'S NOT BLAME BUSH THAT IS THE CARD DEMS LIKE TO USE. BUSH WAS IN THE HOLE ROUND ABOUT FIG 1.3-1.6 TRILLON DOLLARS HE ADDED THAT IN EIGHT YEARS OBAMA HAS BEEN IN OFFICE 15 MONTHS AND ADDED 2 TRILLON TO THE DEBT GET REAL. ALSO WHY IS HE LEANING TOWARDS THE PALISTENIANS IN ISREALS COUNTRY. HELLO IT'S ISREALS COUNTRY BUILD WHERE YOU WANNA BUILD.^[13] HE IS PISSING OFF OUR ONLY TRUE ALLIA BRITIAN,AND THE REST ARE COAT TAIL RIDERS. SO WHEN YOU WANT TO TALK GOV ISSUES COME WITH SOME REAL FACTS NOT JUST WORDS BLURTING OUT DEMOCRATIC GARBAGE. I FEAR NOT NOVEMBER ELECTIONS ARE NEAR REPUBLICANS WELL TAKE BACK THE HOUSE, AND OBAMA WELL FELL THE HEAT.^[14]

GG: sad. i feel sorry for you.^[15]

TPW: WORDS OF WISDOM FROM A DEMOCRATE. LOL LOL YOU NEED TO FEEL SORRY FOR OUR COUNTRY,WE ARE ON THE BRINK OF DESTRUCTION FROM WITH IN, AND PEOPLE ARE BLIND OR JUST DONT CARE. MYSELF ALONG WITH OVER HALF THE NATION WILL NOT PUT UP WITH THE SHIFTY EYED FORKED TOUNGE^[16] GOVERNMENT IN PLACE IN D.C. CHANGE IS A COMING, I HOPE YOU TAKE OFF THE BLINDERS, AND LOOK AROUND AND SEE WHAT THE REST OF THE COUNTRY SEES GOOD LUCK. P.S. NO NEED TO FEEL SORRY OR SAD ME AND MINE ARE JUST FINE. I AM WELL EDUCATED BS IN CRIMINAL JUSTICE @ AS IN PSYCOLOGY. SPELLING IS NOT MY BEST WORK^[17] BUT MY FINDINGS ARE WELL STATED AND BACKED UP.^[18]


TPW: P.S. RACE IS OUT OF THE ? FOR I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL AFRO-AMERICANWIFE,AND LOVEN IT.^[19] P.S SHE THINKS THE SAME ALONG WITH MANNNNNNNY^[20] BLACKS I KNOW.

GG: huh? when did i mention race? you sound a bit defensive, friend. anybody who feels the need to trot out a black wife (or a black tea party member) to defend themselves from racism might be a tad insecure. overcompensating for something?

ever hear of the phrase "thou doth protest too much?"^[21]

TPW: DON'T HAVE TO OVERCOMPENSAT FOR ANYTHING,JUST POINTING OUT THE FACT THAT PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT OBAMA @ HIS CRAZY ETICS LIKIE TO PLAY THE RACE CARD^[22] WHEN SOMEONE FINDS MANY FAULTS IN HIS ABULITY TO RUN THE FREE WORLD. WAKE UP BRO THE WOOL HAS FALLEN OFF HIS BACK AND THE WOLF IS OUT IN THE OPEN,HE IS SO BOLD WITH HIS CROOKEDNESS.

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Notes:

[1] I know, I know. It’s cheap to make fun of folks’ spelling and grammar mistakes, but damn. And this is the kind of asshole who will make a stink about “Mexican’ts” needing to learn English.

[2] Note: When Republicans win elections, conservatives trumpet the sanctity of the electoral process and the mandate it confers on the victors; when Democrats win, their governance is illegitimate and their powers are “ill gotten.”

[3] I like how he thinks that referencing a black rap group absolves him from the charge that he’s supporting racial profiling. This tokenism will be a recurring theme.

[4] I didn’t even know that people still said “The Good Old USA” without a trace of irony. Also, I like how he thinks he can tell who “belong[s]” in the country. Stay tuned, it gets better.

[5] I thought it’d keep it simple and symbolic. If I’d decided to highlight even a fraction of the inaccuracies here, my response would have been 3 pages long. Plus, these types do not respond to facts anyway.

[6] This is my favorite part. Obama “fooled” 4 million people into voting for him? Based strictly on his blackness? The depth of right-wing denial is staggering. These people simply refuse to admit that their country rejected a “war hero” and a “real American” in favor of a black, supposedly anti-American, multicultural, egghead. By the way, according to this guy, black people and liberals are the ones who love to “play the race card.” You know it’s coming.

[7] So, let me get this straight—the actions of elected federal government officials are illegitimate, but the actions of elected state government officials represent the will of the people? Got it. Keep this in mind.

[8] Now he’s comparing the right wing vitriol toward Obama to the Confederate rebellion against the Union. That’s right the Confederacy—the most extreme version of institutionalized White supremacy this country has ever seen. And yet these morons want to bristle at the charges of anti-black animus.

[9] Here he’s invoking public opinion polls about Obama’s declining popularity. I suppose I could inform him that the same polls show that congressional Republicans are far less popular than Obama, but what would be the point?

[10] The ignorance of these people is baffling.He thinks he can identify non-Americans by their “foreign-sounding” names. I wonder what he thinks of Bush administration criminals John Yoo and Alberto Gonzales? I mean, what would he think of them if he knew who they were?

[11] He assumes that all critics of Tea Party lunacy must be partisan Democrats. I’ve said it a million times before: binary thinking is the mark of a simple mind.

[12] Isn’t this the “liberal media?” And “internet sources” is hilarious—it’s like someone writing “most conservatives are sexual deviants (source: books).”

[13] If there’s anyone I trust on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, it’s this guy (and maybe Joe the Plumber).

[14] Remember Obama’s “ill gotten powers” and all the railing against the federal government? Of course he’s prepared to toss all that aside when Republicans regain control of congress.

[15] Really, what else could I say at this point?

[16] Lizard people reference?

[17] At least he realizes it.

[18] This statement captures our modern, fact-averse culture in a nutshell. One of the best examples of truthiness I’ve seen in quite a while.

[19] A sure sign you don’t know any black people: you use the term “Afro-American.” Wow. The dating market for black women must be even worse than CNN says it is. What kind of black woman would be with this goon? I hope that he’s just lying.

[20] Take one wild guess as to what the extra “N”s stand for.

[21] I’m pretty sure he’d never heard this phrase before now.

[22] There it is!