Political Cryptozoology--They do Exist! A Photo Montage of African American Lyndon LaRouche Supporters in Chicago

My people, please do not ever say that Chauncey DeVega is not out there pounding the bricks in service of the tribe of respectable negroes.

Yesterday, during my daily travels (to and from the local Korean bbq spot and CVS) I encountered a most curious sight. It wasn't a yeti or a bigfoot. Nor was it a dodo bird. Comfortable on land, it could not possibly be the Loch Ness monster. It was rarer than a black Republican. As there was plentiful daylight, the beast could not possibly be Mothman:



Amazingly, not one, but two of the creatures were sighted! I had stumbled upon the holy grail of cryptozoology--the black Lyndon LaRouche supporter. While I was frightened at first, with my trusty camera in hand I bravely proceeded to document the encounter.

Quite friendly, but a bit skittish at first (they told me a story about how they were assaulted by a group of "brainwashed" Barack Obama supporters), the subjects were quite conversant with passerby's. Enthusiastic, the black Lyndon LaRouche supporters were eager to share their secret knowledge that Obama is the next Hitler, Lyndon LaRouche is the answer to America's problems, and a college education is a scam which should be replaced by "cooperative learning communities."

I was intrigued and came closer. I carefully spoke to the subjects in order to earn their trust. They became frightened and requested that I not linger near them. I continued to gently probe by asking more questions about how they found LaRouche. Again, I was rebuffed. Their White handler explained that they are not allowed to give interviews lest they be misrepresented by the mainstream media. His solution? That I contact the national headquarters and gain permission for us to speak with one another. Undaunted, I proceeded to call the national press officer who then proceeded to deny me permission for the interview.

As proof of my encounter with these mythic creatures I respectfully submit the following photographic evidence. Let history be the judge of the veracity and truth of my encounter with one of the rarest of creatures in the political ecosphere.

Photo 1

Is this black on black violence? Are Obama and this protester members of the same tribe? Take special note of the quiet pride and dignity in the countenance of the black Lyndon LaRouche supporter.

Photo 2

A rare sight: two of these exotic creatures sighted together at once. There must be a colony within close proximity to the near North side of Chicago. Notice the aquamarine plumage of the black Lyndon LaRouche supporter on the right--this coloring is used to attract females for potential induction into the tribe.

Photo 3

The males of this group use an innovative (and it seems, quite successful) approach to attracting women. As beautiful queens such as this sister walk by, the black Lyndon LaRouche supporter asks the object of his affection, "did you know that Barack Obama wants to kill you?" Shocked, the quarry pauses and then the black Lyndon LaRouche supporter can move in closer. If he is lucky, mating will soon commence.

Photo 4

More victims of the fierce "game" possessed by black Lyndon LaRouche supporters, as these women are waylaid by the boldness of their attack. Prior to the mating ritual, the above male (perhaps the alpha?) was overheard asking his compatriot, "where's the white women at?" All females should be cautious as black Lyndon LaRouche supporters do indeed know how to "spit hot fire at the ladies."

Photo 5

The black Lyndon LaRouche supporter is also a dangerous combatant if provoked. The male of the species often wears flip flops so that he can quickly pounce on a target. Notice the ashy feet and legs. This is a type of personal ornamentation that is an homage to the proud Zulu warriors, who because of rigorous training could use their calloused feet to extinguish fire or run hundreds of miles in a single day.

Photo 6

Males in the black Lyndon LaRouche tribe use a range of ornamentation to establish their masculinity and position in the male hierarchy. The male in the above picture tries to signal what some observers of urban culture have termed "street cred" by channeling the stylistic sensibilities of Raekwon the Chef in the much discussed, golden age hip hop video "Ice Cream."

Notice how this style of tribal dress uses white socks to attract the attention of potential mates. Of additional note are the worn over dress shoes that, as opposed to the Wallabees or Timberlands worn by Raekwon, signal a potential for upward mobility, wealth acquisition, and security--traits that are universally attractive to all women.

This has been an exciting discovery. If any of you have photos that should be included in our grand museum of the politically uncommon or rare by all means please email them to us. Remember, knowledge creation is a collective endeavor that stands to benefit all of humanity. We are forever in your debt as your participation in our most humble of projects is a service to all of mankind.