Sunday, March 1, 2009
One More Black History Month Hijinks: Monday is the Final Day of Confessions to the Church of James Brown!
Brother James has a concert to play with Isaac Hayes, Bernie Mac, Richard Pryor, and Redd Foxx on Tuesday. Thus, we only have have one more day for confessionals. Come Negro Sisters and Brothers, share your secret shames on Monday, 'cause come Tuesday you will have to wait till next year--and we will be announcing the winners for best confessional on that same day.
Come one, come all, Brother James loves all of you!
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I, Shai, am fully aware that despite me wanting to work within the system that has been constructed and do what most low-income urban blacks get enraged over and repay the home I came from, I understand that I am just the "too white" black female that doesn't/ well never understand the dynamics of the old neighborhood. Thus I am done pretending that I will go home and help the people who sent me out to make something of myself. I'll quit pretending for a second that they even want to look in my eyes or I theirs and see fallen dreams. While they look in my eyes and see everything they think they want and I hate to deal with. In that second is the only time we will ever have a opportunity to have genuine conversation, but it's also the time when I'm most scared to address the issue.
I, Shai, was a poster child puppet for my college and the very people that I wanted to stand for hate me. I fled the position, because I hated taking on the burden of the blacks students as their personal "house nigga." Although, the position almost pushed me towards insanity, I didn't even bother to train the girl I picked as my successor. A part of me believes that a huge part of her struggle is important to gaining the skin for the job, which is being the voice of the group, but the vision of the majority.
I, Shai, have a southern accent, but I'm from MI. I tend to grin and bear it when white coworkers or other northerners assume I'm stupid, but when I'm angry, I slip right back to my accent.
I, Shai, am more than a little angry.
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