Chauncey DeVega's World of Ghetto Nerds: Why Do Space Aliens Only Kidnap White People?--The British Open Their Secret UFO Files

The Brits have finally come clean. It seems that the British government has decided to open their secret UFO files. These files are a treasure trove of information. They contain stories of UFO's the size of Aircraft Carriers terrorizing British airspace, landings near military bases, and abductions of British citizens. Now, as a ghetto nerd I certainly believe in extra-terrestrial life. One would have to be a an overly religious, Luddite, mouth breather who doesn't believe in evolution to not concede the obvious. Random thought: I really have never understood how religion cannot include space aliens as God's creations (I think there are several beliefs systems outside of the Judeo-Christian which do have that expansive view), but that is a conversation for another time.

But, while I believe in aliens, I am unsure if they have ever visited Earth. As I often say, why would they? We are a planet located in the equivalent of a galactic trailer park. Unless they are slumming, we are likely far away from the inter-galactic equivalent of I-95. But, I have always wondered where are the black and brown folk who have been kidnapped by aliens? Why don't we get some love?

Interestingly, one of the first documented cases of alien abduction was that of an interracial couple, Betty and Barney Hill in the White Mountains near Portsmouth, New Hampshire in 1961. This was a widely discussed and documented case that attracted much media attention. It was also one of the first cases where repressed memories were recovered through hypnosis. Funny thing, the Hills weren't taken too seriously at the time because they were an inter-racial couple, and of course, you have to be crazy to marry across the race line. Moreover, the aliens--the grays as they would come to be called in the ufology community--wanted Mr. Hill's sperm so this hurt his credibility a bit. Damn it, why do those aliens come all that distance to collect semen and put things in people's behinds? Perverts.



Random thought: when black folks are featured in these shows, why do they announce to the world that they had hot, alien sex? Are we that irresistible?

I know the aliens, if they have perfected free energy and can travel between the stars, must certainly have evolved beyond petty colorism and race prejudice. Perhaps, we respectable negroes can start a support group for people of color who have been abducted by aliens or have seen ufo's? We are a galactic people by nature, so perhaps our alien brothers will eventually come back to Earth in order to claim us?

As a primer for potential members of our Respectable Negro Alien Abductee and Visitation Support Group, I offer the following useful videos:

1. Betty and Barney Hill describe their abduction by extraterrestrials:



2. Betty and Barney Hill under hypnosis:



2. Noted physicist, Michio Kaku discusses how governments would respond if ET were to visit the Earth:



3. Riley Martin on Jerry Springer--simply classic:



4.Riley Martin discussing his 72 hour love making session, courtesy of alien Viagra, with the Biavians:



5. An unforgettable episode of the Art Bell show which featured a phone call from Area 51:



Come out of the closet my brothers and sisters. I know I am not alone. In fact, I actually saw a UFO in 1995 near New Britain, Connecticut and have never been the same since that fateful evening...maybe they touched me psychically. Come clean my friends. Share your stories and experiences. You are safe here.