You got to love the Japanese, but how would this work in the 'hood?

The Japanese are an innovative people. But, how useful is this idea to the good negro people of these United States? If we respectable negroes were to hide inside our portable "vending machine" for protection when the ign'ts dragooned us we would be beat down pretty quick--if anything the promise of free soda would encourage the monsters to stomp us even harder.

So, in the interest of cross cultural exchange, we propose a more 'hood friendly series of disguises. The criteria are simple, what common and ubiquitous items or locales can we turn into costumes, and thus (hopefully, if only for a minute) be rendered ninja stealthy? We propose:

1. a bodega, fully equipped with sugar water, chico sticks, and other tasty ghetto treats;
2. a pay day loan or check cashing spot;
3. a store front church, cause you know you all need to be saved;
4. an empty 40oz bottle of beer or other malt liquor;
5. a bootleg dvd with the pixeleted homemade cover and audience "commentary";
6. personal responsibility and common sense cause folks are blind to both.

What else can we add to our list?